Earlier in this blasted quarantine lockdown, I had the bright idea to do a reading of a particular online article published on Cracked.com that had just turned 10 years old. It gained a sort of cult following during that decade and boosted its writer as an online funnyman. Its proper title is “Worst Life Ever,” but it’s known better as its subject matter—Fujita’s Skull.
The reason why I impulsively decided to make this video is due to having watched a similar reading video of the article. While it was fine, it just had that picture from the article of Kazuyuki Fujita’s head compared to an apatosaurus, and that gave me a brainwave.
I could do a reading video as well while adding clips of the actual fights to provide context and make the article more vivid. While the piece had plenty of exaggeration and metaphor to provide humor, it did describe things that actually happened in the Japanese MMA ring. I thought doing that would make it even funnier.
Worst Life Ever: The Story of Kazuyuki Fujita’s Skull
The video already gives the background of both the writer and the subject matter, but you have to understand just how much myth and legend Kazuyuki Fujita’s skull has garnered. When your hard head gets its own TVTropes article, you know it’s pretty fucking hard.
Seanbaby’s obra maestra has been shared in countless threads on Reddit and various MMA forums, and it never fails to get a laugh. Over a decade has passed, yet people still remember it fondly. That level of nostalgia is usually reserved for audio-visual media, and it’s remarkable for something in a written medium to get similar clout.
It even gets cited in a Wikipedia article on the combat sports concept of “chin,” wherein it’s the main citation for Kazuyuki Fujita as an example of a fighter with a notable chin. I’m not sure how scientific or journalistically-sound it is, especially since it’s Wikipedia, but that’s still something.
That’s like a throwback to the olden days before the moving picture and gramophone, along the lines of J’Accuse and Wall Street Lays An Egg. Nowadays, such fame for written pieces still can be seen from time to time, such as for exceptional satirical pieces on the Onion.
The reading videos, such as this one, that emerged around 2017 were due to Markiplier’s mention of the article in one of his earlier Try Not to Laugh Challenge videos. I had known of the article well before that since I’m a keen fan of mixed martial arts, but I thought the attention it got due to being mentioned by a famous YouTuber was pretty neat.
Of course, I started reading it again after seeing those videos. Then I noticed that it was published in January 2010. Ten years have passed, and I thought there was an opportunity to celebrate the piece and do my own reading video at the same time. Besides, I could use the voice-over and video editing practice.
During this time, I had been trying to build my voice-over recording booth in an empty closet. I already got the foam, but I’ve yet to clear the room (which serves as my home gym) of detritus. So, I had to record this one here on my main PC.
This was when I realized why commentators, voice actors, and so on keep headsets on. I used to think that it may interfere with one’s speech as it may be distracting to hear one’s voice through the headphones while talking.
However, what I found out for myself was that it worked like one of those devices that people with speech impediments wear to alleviate their stuttering. I’m still not very good at reading out loud as I still tend to get tongue-tied and stumble over my words constantly. Wearing monitor headphones helped me pace myself and make fewer errors.
Making fewer errors during recording meant a lot less sound editing—the very thing that keeps me from wanting to do more videos. Mind you, the video editing was still pretty tedious. While I do enjoy video editing, it’s a drag if I have other work piled up.
A friend pointed out that his only gripe with my video was that I calmly read out the article, not shouted it out like a neanderthal. He’s right in that whenever you read a Seanbaby piece, you know his voice is anything but calm.
However, as I’ve made my disdain for editing clear, I just wanted to get through it with as little extra adulteration as possible, so I read it like how Stephen Fry read A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
The first thing I did was download the fight videos. I knew right off the bat that including them in the reading video would have it flagged for copyright. I debated with myself over flipping the footage, making them much smaller, or not using them at all.
Since the point of the exercise was to have the clips provide context for the article, that last one was out. I wanted to flip it or make it smaller to not trip copyright ID, but decided against it as I thought it would mess with how viewers experience these “historical events.”
Editing the video took a long-ass time—well over a month—since I always had work to trudge through. Also, managing my anxiety and depression during this trying time isn’t easy, especially since I couldn’t go down to 7-11 for a pick-me-up whenever I want.
But somehow, I was able to finish it during Holy Week—which didn’t feel like it since we’ve had a forced vacation for over three weeks at that point. The process was more tedious during the earlier parts since I was doing stuff like animations, but then got too lazy to do more, so I just kept images static for the rest of the video.
After uploading the video on my Facebook and YouTube channels, I felt that familiar sense of accomplishment. However, I was disappointed that I wasn’t getting as many views as I expected. I did make a somewhat funny video and I wanted people to see it, but I then realized that the thumbnail I put up was boring. I changed it a week later, but that may have been too late.
Anyway, making it was fun. Perhaps I did it because I’m a fan of Seanbaby, who seems to live the kind of life I want to live. As I mentioned at the end of the video, I want to be a mutant hybrid of Seanbaby and Jack Slack. As far as aspirations go, that sounds pretty pathetic in the grand scheme of things.
But that’s what I enjoy—talking about and making fun of people beating the shit out of each other for money. Cr1TiKaL (penguinz0) is another content creator that does the same thing, and I quite enjoy his videos that showcase genetic freaks hitting and getting hit with massive amounts of kinetic energy across the face.
I need to do more regular videos. I’m sitting on top of a mountain of ideas that are piling up in my Google Keep, and they’re not getting made with me just staring at them. I was able to put up this blog post, at least, so that’s a start.
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